A Man Or A Woman? (Dating in a new age world)

I read a friend of mine post on face book, where she expressed that if she found or saw a man that she was interested in that she wouldn't tell him or let him know. After reading this post, God put on my heart, that is one of the main reason why there are so many single men or women the world today. Especially for those that are in their forties or fifties. Back in the sixties, seventies, eighties and even nineties, there was still a code , that has lasted  for generations or years, where if a man was interested in a woman, that he would pursue the woman. But now much of that has changed and we are all living in a new era. Now in today's time men are less aggressive and some women now pursue or go after what they want. A couple of years back, women used to wait on a man to come to them to expressive his love or desire for her. My late grandmother used to call this courting or what we call it now in today's time dating. In today's time both men or women use different ways to find a spouse or a mate. Today thanks to immigration, the internet and with many men or women changing their sexual preferences, it is not as easy as it used to be to find a  good man or woman to date.
Older heterosexual men or woman are now having a hard time connecting , because of their old fashion ways. In today's time younger women are now more aggressive and many of them go after the men they want. Also with immigration and with people now being more comfortable dating outside their race, the competition for a good man or woman has gotten fierce. Now more than ever both men or women are searching for their potential spouse via the Internet. Why? Because many people don't have the time and others are scared of rejection or the games. Yes in today's time its very hard or complicated finding a good man , woman or the right match. That's why dating sites have become so popular, because men or women can now screen, then look at pictures to determine if that person could be their potential mate. To me internet dating can be so impersonal, because just because a person appears too look good or be a good person online, they could in fact be crazy. That is why I prefer dating with a little of the old fashion ways and with a taste of the new internet way. That way I could see if I like her, then latter meet. But like my great grandmother would always say," If you can't carry a conversation with the person you are interested in, it doesn't matter how good they look, because it wont work.

My advice to any man or woman, that may read this, if you happen to have old fashion ways, you may have to change with the times. Today's younger men or women are now more aggressive and some of us old fashion people have to catch up. Its like going from a pager to a cell phone, times have changed. In today's time people have more than disease to fear, they also have to fear the unknown. Nobody, knows if the person , they are interested in is married, in a relationship or even worse crazy. That is why some men don't even try to pursue some women, because some fear rejection, others fear being hurt and other men just have too many women to choose from. In today's world where  there happens,  to be more women than men , women now have to step up and become more aggressive. If they see a man that they are interested in sometimes they have to be the ones that have to be aggressive. For those women who may think that this may turn some men off, I have this to say. Stop being old fashion and get with the times. Speak up, and don't be shy. Then let the man you like know, that you are interested, single or available. Because if you don't you may find yourself, alone without a man to love. Write in and express your thoughts on the subject. Until then have a great weekend.



Anonymous said…
I can inderstand your point of view somewhat, I think our definitions of agressive may be different. Personally, I like being "old fashioned", I feel a man would see me for who I truly am and that I'm not full of games and deceit. As a christian woman, I don't want to come across as being agressive or flirty which would give a man the wrong impression of me and that I don't want. I feel I don't have to compete for a man if the Lord has someone for me, the Lord will reveal me to him and then our paths will meet. There are ways to let a man know you are interested in them without saying it, especially for a shy person like me. Well, now that I think about, I guess I haven't done a good in being obvious in letting this person know that I would like to get to know him better. Also, I don't want to look like every other women, I want to standout with my values and God fearing lifestyle. All my female single friends are "old fashioned" and we always talk about the good men are hiding due to how women are these days. How ironic. (smiling)
I've been divorced for 19 years, been in one serious rlationshp that didn't work and don't feel I had a lonely life, just enjoying it to the fullest. May God bless you Chuck
holmes0915 said…
Hello Anonymous I really understand how you feel when it comes to being old fashion. I love the old ways too, but those days are now gone and in our past. You are very right by believing that God will bless you with the right man. But you also must realize that God always answers prayers and what if God has revealed you future husband too you and you didn't act on it? It takes two to make it and maybe the guy that you are interested in feels the same about you, but is afraid to act. Maybe he is shy just like you are and doesn't want to do anything to offend you. All I am saying that if you really want a good man and want to be happy,then go after your dreams or your man. Trust God, that what you desire will forever be a part of your heart.

sylvia said…
Hi Chuck, you're right I think Internet dating or finding a mate is not a good ideal, because there are some very strange and dangerous people in this world we're living in today. My best friend husband was dating onine and divorced her for a woman he met online. But....guess what after she destroyed their marriage and had him to leave his wife for her and she left her husband for him, after one year she went back to her husband and left him sickly. Now my friend had moved on with her life and doing great. Don't want him after what he did and he's alone and I'll. All to say: Internet communications has cause people lots of heart ache and pain so, hold on to what you have because a good man or woman is hard to find. Yes God is number one in our life and he also give us our senses to know right from wrong. How did we meet before computers came about? The answer is the way God planned face to face, heart to heart. Keeping it real...Sylvia
holmes0915 said…
Hello Sylvia,
I am sorry about your friends divorce, but to blame the divorce on internet dating isn't fair. Yes its true that internet dating has been known to cause divorces, but also many people have found their true love or soul mates on-line. Men or women cheat, rather on-line or in person. If a person wants too be unfaithful, they will find a way too cheat. After all whats in the dark will come too light or whats in the heart shall be revealed.

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