Unappreciative?

I was always told by my mother, that if anybody gives you something for free, rather it be advice, money, food or any other material thing then you are in fact blessed. As my father would put it the only true things that are free in life, is the air we breath and the love our Father Heaven gives us everyday. As you know there happens too be a lot of men, women or children that are spoiled. What do I mean by spoiled? Well these guys happen to be blessed with some good mothers, fathers, husbands or wives and if they are really blessed some wonderful friends or grandparents. They are so blessed that they get almost anything the want and some of these people receive gifts or money without asking for it. It just lets me know what type of world we live in, when someone can be ungrateful or unappreciative, when someone is giving them something that they didn't have to work or pay for. After all if you happen to be one of these people, ask yourself this question, Why are you so ungrateful or unappreciative? After all you didn't work for it and in truth it wasn't your money that they spent or gave to you. Which brings me to the topic of the week, Unappreciative? This subject was inspired by a guy who was brave enough to leave a comment on one of my blogs. He wrote me a letter so I decided to copy, then paste it here for everyone to read.

 Chuck,   5/22/2012                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      I would like to thank you for your topic call just a friend, finally one of us looking out for the men. As you know Chuck, most women stick together, even when they are wrong and team up on us men. They make it seem that we are the main reasons for their problems, when in fact it takes two to tangle. The reason I am writing you is because I know after you read this you will use it in your blog, so I will get right to the point. I have been dating my lady for over 4 years and I must admit that I love her very much, but she drives me crazy. Every time I try to do something for her, she always complains. When I buy her clothing, give her money, cook, clean and take her out to dinner or even work in her yard its never enough. I care so much about her that I look out for her needs, before I look out for my own. But the main reason I am writing you is because yesterday we had an argument and it was about money or for what I do for her. Long story short she told me that if I loved her and really meant to give her those things, such as money, gifts or other things. That when we argued I shouldn't have brought it up in the first place. Her words exactly, if you didn't want to give me those things then you should have kept them to yourself and besides that if you keep talking about it then those gift weren't from your heart. Man, all I can say is, Wow! From my heart? If I didn't want to give her those things I wouldn't have.  Besides that a brother works hard for his money and if I didn't really love her I wouldn't give her any of my money or buy her any thing!You feel me? Women sometimes drive me crazy and none of them seem to appreciate a good thing! Am I tripping, wrong or is she very unappreciative?
Derek

Wow Derek,
Or if you are read this can I call you D? I understand how you feel. Been there and done that man. I have had similar experiences with my past ladies and even an ex-wife. Going through those experiences taught me something, that I had to learn from myself that my father used to tell me. Men and women are not the same, we are built differently. I know I might touch a few women toes by writing what I am about to write but I have to be as my son would say, Real! If the shoe was on the other foot, I would be grateful. Its not going to be many times in persons life, that somebody is going to give you something for free, especially their time or money. I  know if it was me, I would be  very grateful for the blessing and never would I be unappreciative. Write in, then give your thoughts or opinions on the subject.
Until then have a great day,
Chuck


Comments

Deedy said…
Chuck, very touching subject and I can attest too some of what you said stand to be true. Let me first start by saying there are many ungrateful people in general, not just women or men. yes, parents may experience having ungrateful children, wives my have ungrateful husbands, and husbands may have ungrateful wives. Women and men may experience having an ungrateful mate. How can I explain this without stepping on anyones toes, and put it in terms that many will be grateful enough to except, but as you know Chuck you will find that some people cannot handle the truth. When you find yourself dealing with an ungrateful or as you said unappreciate person, or shall I say self-center behavior it's not easy. It's no wonder why self-centeredness is typically viewed as the most unappealing personality trait in a potential friend or partner. Most of us struggle to maintain a sense of compassion and understanding toward others. Self-centered people, on the other hand, don’t bother to take the time to understand another person’s point-of-view or feelings. You can’t really tell that a person is selfish immediately; it usually takes forming a serious friendship or relationship with them before it becomes explicitly clear that they are self-centered. Dealing with self-centered people can be very difficult and frustrating, especially if you are in a serious relationship with them. Those who are self-centered tend to treat the people badly because they view their partners as nothing more than objects that are in place to feed them emotionally. If you are romantically linked to someone who is self-centered, it’s almost as if you are stuck in a catch 22; if you leave, they will convince themselves you were not good enough, but if you stay, you validate their behavior by giving them the impression they are worth staying with, despite their selfish, and unappreciated behavior. I know been there done that. When you go out of your way for someone so much, and they gets mad about the DUMBEST littlest things, it becomes so frustrating because half of the time it's just that person being immature. What's even worse is when you love the person, but get so sick of feeling unappreciated. I mena you go out your way to please a perosn, when they are sick you are there for them, you do whatever you can to make that person happy because you love them. Newsflash!! If a person has not learned how to appreciate someone, then they would not know how to behave in a respectful manner. Let me start by talking to my sista girlfriends. We all have been in bad relationships, and wonder why you can't find a good man that will appreciate your worth. Well, my question to you is when God blesses you with a good man, why you don't appreciate his worth. You cannot view this man or even punish him for the past man mistakes. The same goes for my brothers who practice the same behavior. All I can say if your not truly ready to appreciate the opposite sex and what they can offer, don't waste that person time. You can best believe what goes around comes right back around. So you should not dish out, what you don't want to receive in return.
Deedy said…
Chuck, I just wanted to add this comment because it reflects both men and women. Just remeber you never know what you have until you lose it. "God only puts something good in front of you once, its up to you to treat it like gold or let it go." One man or woman trash is another man or woman treasure, what he or she don't appreciate the next man or woman will.
Anonymous said…
As a woman, I feel so bad for men who treat a woman like a queen and then the woman don't appreciate it. I'm not one of those women who "stick together". I see right as right and wrong as wrong. The women I socialize with always talk about the women who misused the good men and cause them to hibernate for a season from all women. Usually a woman or a man who is being treated like a king or queen always start arguments because they are guilty of receiving the "good treatment" because they are doing something wrong like cheating or their just not happy. Nothing you do is good enough. I've seen it too many times.
Anonymous said…
Deedy, I agree with you 100%. The key word is selfishness. I see many parents that give their children everything they ask for, teaching them how to receive but never know how to give. Then in their adult life they expect to be given everything and not work for it which results in never succeeding in anything especially relationships. A spoiled daddy's girl is the worst person a man can marry. She will always be needy and never satisfied. The man just gives, gives and gives and she just complains, complains and complains. Selfish people are never happy because they are never satisfied, always wanting something that has caught their eye. Hurting others is so natural to them that they don't know they are doing it. When you bring it to their attention, they turn on you like you did something wrong. The thing that gets me is when the parents of a spoiled child gets older they are so hurt when their child doesn't take care of there needs when a situation arises. I've seen it in too many families. To Derek, my heart goes out to you, but it's not you it's her. So free yourself from any insecurities that may have formed because of not being appreciated. Be blessed
Lynette

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