Just A Friend?




Over the fifty-one years of my life, I always wondered why men and women had problems as a couple or in a relationship. From my research and personnel experience I have determine the reasons for this is because men and women play, childish or silly games. I know there may be some women who read this and may say that men are the ones that play games or that most men are dogs or whores. But I have something to say about that, news flash to the women who feel this way, its not true and don't believe the hype! When it comes to playing games I happen to know more than a few women who are pros at it and will put the best player or whore to shame. I was always told by my mother, that when it comes to playing the field, women are pros's at it and men were amateurs. I remember one conversation that I had with my mother, when she would say, Chuck do you really think you are playing those women? And if so ask yourself this question," Who is playing who and don't you know those women knew that they wanted you before you got involved with them?" I know some women might say, Chuck you are wrong for saying that and if you feel that way then why? Or like one of my aunts might say explain yourself young man. (smile)

Just the other day I was on my way to work and I noticed that a neighbor of mine car happen to be broken down. When I looked down, I saw her sitting down looking at her car. I said hello how are you doing and then asked her what was wrong with her car. Before she could answer me a man answered me from under her car, then told me that her brakes locked up. I walked over to the side he was on then said, what's up man how are you doing? He said fine, but as you can see and he said this sarcastic that I am working on my friends car. Then I looked at her, then said, you are not putting your man in the friend zone are you? Then he said before she could answer, Yes man she is, but ask yourself this question, What man would come from one end of the town, take a woman out to eat, wine and dine her, spend nights and when a crisis arrives comes, then fixes a beautiful woman's car? She might say that I am just a friend, but you know and she knows I am not.

So ladies, I have a question for you why do you do this? Why is it when you are in the company of a man and when someone ask you who is this person, then you say he is just a friend? Is it because you are afraid of commitment or you have something to hide? Don't you know that most men don't like this practice and it makes them look bad? Most of you know that if a man tried this, you would be all over him and you might ask him these questions. So I am just a friend am I? Then you would say, well you didn't say that last night or you may say well if I am a friend I guess I might as well treat you like one. Most of you would be mad as hell and you would be complaining to your girlfriends, then fussing at your so called friend all night! Why is it that when you are horny or hot he is your lover, but when you want something done for you or when you are seen in public then he is your friend? This is something that I have found that only women can get away with saying this statement. Why? Well I know from my past experience, if I had said this while I was with someone I was involved with, it would be on! Write in ladies and explain why do you use this statement," Oh he's just a friend". Really Just A Friend?
Chuck



Comments

prince griffin said…
Hello Chuck.
This is all i have to say: If the man is mines, he's mines...If only he is just a friend,then he is just a friend.I would be very proud to tell someone"THIS IS MY MAN"
Anonymous said…
I have no comment since I don't play games, I don't have had "friends" and haven't dated "many" men. I can speculate that men do it more but they don't verbally say it, it's through there actions with numerous women since there are so many women they "play" with. Men will just keep quiet and let the women "cat fight" while they take it all in and then share it later with their buddies as a humorous inciden. (no big deal to them) I'm interested in reading other comments concerning this subject.
Anonymous said…
Hey Man,

I am glad that you wrote this topic, women are so much actors. They act like we men play games when in fact they are the ones that play them, invent them and without them we men couldn't cheat. To give you an example of this , is when one day I was involved with this lady right and then later I found out she had a boyfriend. Man she was so scandalous, because one day I went to her apartment, her man wasn't home. But he called when I was there, then she acted like she missed him, when in fact she was loving me. Then to make it stranger than that, I bumped into the both of them in the mall and she hugged me then introduced me as her friend. Now that's a trip, just a friend!
Anonymous said…
What's happening Chuck,
I love the topic man and the other guy is right, women are the ones that play games. Yes, we have been known to be dogs, but without them we couldn't cheat. One day I met this lady in a bar and later I took her home. I asked her was she married , then she that she was married and filling for a divorce. I found out after two months that she wasn't planning on getting a divorce, she was just getting back at her husband for having an affair. But the trip about it, check this out..... I saw her and her husband in the store together , she later introduced me as her child hood friend from high school. Man, this woman was a good liar, a pro.....
Anonymous said…
Man Chuck,

What is it with these women always blaming us for cheating? Don't they know that game recognizes game? They talk so much junk especially that Deedy lady. She knows , even if she won't admit it that women are good liars. An example of this is my boy and man I feel for him. Because he is a good dude that works hard, six days a week and puts it down for his family. But his lady man is so scandalous, as soon as the brother leaves for work , there is another man in his house. I wanted to tell him about it, but I didn't want to break the brothers heart. To make a long story short he caught her cheating one day, because he got off early from work. He almost killed dude and I stopped him because I didn't want my hommie in jail. To make matters worse he is back with her and she is still doing the same thing. Why you say? Well now she blames him, because in her words he can't get it up. Now what's up?
Deedy said…
Chuck, ok the topic is hitting the nail on the head, but let's not pass judgement ladies and gentlemen. One of the gentlemen responded, he met this lady at a bar, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, WOW at a bar. Then he took this lady home, I guess we can read between the lines of what happen, it really does not matter. He asked this lady was she married, and she responded she was filing for divorce, ladies does this sound familiar too you, or what's the other line men pass by a woman, they are seperated, moving right along. After two months he found out she was not filing for divorce, he saw her in the store with her husband, and introduced him as a childhood friend, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. WOW!! this is exactly what men does also, girl shut your mouth!! Oh last response he said, she is a very good liar, what hold up player, have you not forgotten that men does the same thing, kie like a rug, and try and run the same game, using the same ookey doke on women. This woman response was no different then what a man would have said, if the shoe was on the other foot. So just stop with the sarcastic remarks about women, what she did and what she said, how you were deceived, and you could not believe how she lied, men are no better. Now you can take it like a grain of salt, get upset are just receive the truth. First of all people in general who act and behave insuch manner definitely has low self-esteem about themselves, yes I said low self-esteem. If you want the truth whoop there it is!! You do me wrong, i'm going to do you wrong. This is childish, and immature for any grown person, whether it be a woman are man to act so senseless. What purpose does it serve, this statement is for both men and women, ok. So ladies and gentlemen before you make such a drastic judgement about the opposite sex, take a look in the mirror because none of us, I mean none of us are perfect. We all have done things that was just plain stupid, and this is one of those things some men and women have done. So all I can say is look at the pot calling the cattle black. Chuck, you know I really don't respond much on certain topics. This topic here, I had to comment. People learn from your own games and experiences please. One Voice, One Love. Be Bless Everyone!!
Deedy said…
Chuck, to respond to one of your followers. You already know I'm going to express myself, the devil is a liar!! Now to Anonymous, I never excluded women from being liars, I just said in my earlier post women are no different from men. Yes, some women can be scandelous, liars, cheaters, are whatever they mindset maybe. Don't get it twisted my brother, just like men think they can run game, game recognize game ok player. The fact is I don't support liars are cheaters, because it's wrong. Let me put it in a more elementary understanding, if your not ready to be in a serious committed relationship, express it from the start, that way you know what you are dealing with, and what decisions you should make. A person's actions, recognized behavior, and the words they speak, definitely sends smokes signals. The grass is never green on the other side of the road, people think it is but it's not. Whatever you do unto others, the measure comes back upon you. I'm not saying I'm perfect or a saint, there are certain things I just really will not mustard. Cheating is wrong, it's immature, holds no weight to make the situation in your life better, it only makes you bitter in your mind, and in your heart. Ms. Deedy does not talk trash, or neither does Ms. Deedy accumulate trash talkers, you want reality Anonymous, you wanted an answer, Ms. Deedy supplied your need to a better understanding. I made it as plain as simple. Chuck, you already know I'm not about foolishness are trash talking, but some people really does not like to hear reality. If you can't stand the heat, get out the kitchen!! Reality Check 101. One Voice, One Love. Be Bless Anonymou
Anonymous said…
Wow! Man,

Even on here it seems women really stick up for each other. In the real world Ms. Deedy there are a lot of women claiming to be good women and blaming their faults on men. I have heard many women say, they reason they don't trust a man or want to start a new relationship with one is because all men are dogs. News Flash, Ms. Deedy or any other woman that reads my comments, you guys are better at it when it comes to cheating than men. Now I agree with Ms. Deedy to a point, I hate cheaters, liars or anyone who uses a person for what they have or what they want. Also women should realize that men have feelings to and as much as we would like to blame you guys for our down fall most of us don't. We don't cry when a woman breaks our hearts, instead we go on with our lives searching for a woman that will complete us. Chuck I have been divorced now for over 8 years, my ex-wife took everything. But I wouldn't change a thing because nothing beats a peace of mind.

Marvin
Deedy said…
WOW!! Finally, you stepped up like a real man and said your name, instead of using Anonymous, if Marvin is your real name. I'm not throwing daggers, just a little humor. Now, let Ms. Deedy get back to reality. I support women to a certain point, cheaters, liars, haters, all of the same nature I will not support their behavior, because I'm not about living a foolish life. I now have a better understanding of your expressions. Sorry for your experience, we all go through trials and tribulations in life, your not the first and wonlt be the last to experiece such a horrific ordeal. Marvin, don't make someone else pay for the mistakes your ex-wife made, because you never know if that person was sent from God. Whatever you experience is a lesson learned to help you to grow into a better person, not a bitter person. In honesty what goes around comes back around. People seem to take that saying lightly, or as a joke but it definitely does not happen, the bible says it best. You mentioned when men get hurt they don't cry, yes a real man does cry, whether you want to believe it are not. There is nothing wrong with crying it soothes the soul, and makes you stronger. I don't want to hear, a man is strong because he moved on without crying. Moving on without God does not make you strong in heart or spirit, it makes you vulnerable to another open door to hurt if your not careful. Marvin, a human being does not complete you, God completes you for his purpose not a person. Whenever things go wrong in a relationship what purpose does it serve to be pointing the finger, a relationship is a two-way street, it starts with two people and ends with two people. So both parties in a relationship has their equal share of what went soar. I wish you the best Marvin, but let God complete you and He will then give you a real women designed just for you. One Voice, One Love, Be Bless!!
Anonymous said…
Wow, this is some good conversation, thank yall for keeping it on a respect level beause topics like this can get very nasty. After reading all the posts I realize that we all come to conclusions on this subject because of what we hear and situations that others have been through. We put everyone in the same categories from just a few incidents you've heard of or from the media. Bottom line, we all know a cheater can be a man or a woman. The real question is WHY people cheat? How do they live with themselve knowing they have hurt someone? or why do they continue to cheat after they have been caught and given a second chance? Questions? Questions? Questions?
Lynette
Anonymous said…
Girl,

Be real! You know why they cheat! Its because they are nasty, can't keep their skirts up or their things in their pants. Then look at the music they listen too demeaning us women and the reality shows that glorify both unfaithful men or women. Face it girl, sex sells men and women just love to have sex. A girlfriend of mine is so hot, that she has slept with her mans, brother, friend and his father. She makes Jill on the Young and Restless look like a saint. That's my girl, but I am keeping it real and she isn't about to change. Her momma is nasty and so is her sister, they just keep having unprotected sex with men. That is why I keep my man for away from her hot self, because she has no cut in her. Anyway, I am just keeping it 100.....

Kim
Anonymous said…
Tell her girl,

I have an uncle that is 55 and is still nasty with his old self. Girl he takes viagra like they are tic tacks and he is always chasing those young girls. Girl ,I keep telling him to leave those young girls alone, because I don't won't them girls to get worms. But he is just an old fool still chasing a dream, but if you look at him its like a nightmare. Then I have an aunt who calls herself a cougar, telling me that 60 is the new 40 #$#*# please! 60 is old and she needs to sit her old self down before she catches a heart attack.

Paula
Deedy said…
Chuck, glad to see some of my sista friends tap into the conversation. Well you know me Chuck, I have to respond to speak the truth or forever hold my piece. To my sista girl Lynette, it has been established not all men and women cheat, but a majority of men and women cheat are have cheated. Cheating generally means that you are not fully satisfied with you current partner or that you feel something is missing in the relationship. Why they cheat, there could be a number of reasons why a person do wrong anyway. You know how that old saying go once a cheater always a cheater, not so people do change when they have a heart of wanting to become a better person. Learned behavior from seeing others in their family behave in a dishonorable way, that's just an excuse. Here is the other excuse because they was getting back at the person that done them wrong, that's just a plain lie, and the behavior of others should not make you react like them. People have so many accuses of why they cheat or what made them cheat. As a Godly woman I tell you this even people who consider themselves christians, play church, go to church every Sunday, bible study on Wednesday, have fallen short to such behavior. So no one is exempt that have fallen into that web of cheating. Asking that question again, "Why Do People Cheat" the truth is that we take our own sense of direction and do things willfully without any regards to how the person may feel at the time of their actions. The only word I can use to describe their actios is self-gratification, because they act of pleasing themselves, their fleshy desire and own sexual urges. Let look at married couples, husbands cheat because sometimes they are no longer attracted to their wives, they get more attention from other women then from their wives, sexual attraction toward other women, women making sexual advices at married men, and married men fallen for the ooky doke, because this woman is beautiful, sexy, and just maybe appealing to that man eyes, not sexually attracted to his wife anymore. What a weak man right, no other woman should be able to turn his head but his wife right. Now the wife, she cheats because her husband cheated on her, or her husband does not spend time with her always on the go, husband starts putting her down, speaking respectfully, lack of intimacy, I will say this again feeling neglected, ignored or unappreciated,or even a lost of passion, and no sexual bond, and women start to think negative as if something is wrong are their partner is doing wrong. Come on ladies pick-up your self-esteem and stop thinking negative. I am gong to put and ease to your mind, people don't cheat because of the type of music they listen too, or becasue they are nasty, that is not the reason. When you have not learned how to have self-esteem, and sustaining yourself from sinful acts, your bound to lose control, and not do what is right. Newsflash Kim, there is not a person on this earth that can keep someone from doiong something they want to do. You mentioned that is why you keep your man far away from you friend. If you trust your man, and have faith in your relationship then you should not be worried about him even been weak to your friend promiscuous, a real man would dismiss such a woman. When you made that statement, what does that say, no trust in the relationship. Stop let him be a man to show you, how strong he can be. Be very careful Kim, because that opens doors for the enemy to try and attack. I will resume on this topic tomorrow. Have to get my rest for church in the morning. Be Bless My Sistas!!
Anonymous said…
I hear you women talking, but known of you are brave enough to say or to admit that you guys are never satisfied. When you ladies get us your man or husbands, you guys always want to change us. I have heard many of you women say that you want your man to get in touch with his feminine side or that you want him to cry like some kind of #@@#** !!!What's up with that? If you guys really want a real man then let him be a man! Stop trying to change him and allow him to be the man you fell in love with. I am sick of women who say they want a good man , but every time you look around, they try to change us. What happens most of the time is that some of you cheat on us with someone who happen to what we used to be. Women can't live with them or without them and you guys will never change.

James
Anonymous said…
Now that's what I am talking about! Man,

I have been dating my lady for 4 years, but guess what she is never happy. She always complains that I don't take her anywhere or she might say, that I manly or hard enough for her. But she sure doesn't complain when I put that money in her hands every month! I work 6 days a week, cook, clean , help her raise her children that are not mine, then buy her nice expensive things and I even help pay her bills. I have to put up with her girlfriends or family members that are always in our business. Why are they in our business you may ask? Well its because known of them have men or their own! I am sick of it and ready to leave! Because the real icing on the cake is when we are in public and she sees a old boyfriend or someone she may be interested in she always introduces me as a friend. What a @##@*$ trip! A friend!!

Derek
Charles Holmes said…
Wow!

I love the responses that I am getting from both the men and the women. This happens to be a very touchy subject , that happens to be very close to my heart. I understand how some men here feel about the subject. Why? Well because I have been on that side of the fence and I have been treated the same way as most of the guys here. There is noting that I hate worse than a woman, who I happen to be involved with, giving my money to and spending all my time with, telling someone that we may meet in public, that I am her friend. Women sometimes use the term, my friend, my guy friend, my boo tang and other sayings. When I am in public with the woman whom I am suppose to be involved with or in love , I just want to simply be your man and not your friend.

Thank you guys for all of your responses and have a wonderful week,

Chuck
Anonymous said…
good morning MOG. the ONLY thing i have to say to these comments is. the BIGGEST mistake people r making is giving REASONS why they LOVE the person they r in a relationship with or married to. a person should LOVE a person BECAUSE they LOVE the person. people jump into marriages BECAUSE of something they want at that moment NOT thinking of the YEARS to come. some people. some people r just selfish. there really is NO reason to CHEAT.

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