One of the biggest drawback to forgiving someone is having your heart broken again , by the same person that hurt you in the first place. If you ever been in a relationship or marriage that had an unfaithful mate or spouse in it then you know how it feels to be deceived or lied too. When it gets harder to bare is when you happen to forgive them and you are crazy enough to give them another chance. Then they lie to you, play those same old tired games and then cheat on you all over again. This reminds me of something my late grandmother would always say," If I give someone an inch, then they will take a mile". What she meant by this is if you let some people get away with cheating or lying  and allow them to mistreat or deceive you once. Then those same people will keep on doing the same thing to you over and over again. But some people take these behaviors to the a higher level and become bold with their distasteful behaviors. Some have been known cheat on their spouses in broad day light and then there are others that are so bold enough that they will even make love to their lovers inside of the same house that you both live in. There are plenty of horror stories of infidelity; man or woman uses spouses credit cards, cars, money, even your clothing or jewelry and other things just to please their lovers on the side. Question is what do you do about it? Or what would you do if you happen to get yourself caught into this emotional rollercoaster? I know that there are some out there that feel that it could never happen to them, but my reader doesn't seem to agree with that. In fact she feels that all men are dogs and what happened to her made her swear off all men forever.

Hello Chuck,
How are you? I pray that everything is going well for you and your family. I have been reading your blogs and just like most of your past readers I have become a big fan. I have been reading your blog (God Verses Man) in hopes that I can save my marriage. But I am sad to report that there is nothing I can or want to do save my marriage. I have been married now for over 18 years and we raised six beautiful, successful children that are now adults. But all through our marriage my husband has been cheating. He lies, he cheats, he drinks, gambles and he spends our money wastefully. So much so that we have to file bankruptcy to save our home. I have given him chance after chance, he has lied to me over and over again. After what I have been through I don't know if I will ever trust or love a man again. The reason I feel this way is because my best friend is going through the same thing with her husband. Now we both are getting a divorce and swearing off all men. Right now I am laughing, but I am crying inside, Chuck is it really true , that are all men bad?

Hello Bristol,
Before I get into your letter, I would like to address your last question, are all men bad? No, Bristol not all men are bad. I am pretty sure if you happen to talk to men in your area you will find that they also have horror stories of their own. Its a very sad fact that there are many documented stories of men or women that have cheated or have been unfaithful. You just happen to marry one of them and you shouldn't rule off all men because of it. Because just like you and your friend, there are also some men who have experience the very same situation. Don't give up and after your divorce is finalized start your new life again with hope of happiness or love.
Good luck too you Bristol,


Anonymous said…
To your reader, I've been there. Sweet but naive, took alot and didn't think I was worthy of nothing better. Continuous disrespect will weigh you down to a depressed state. Since you have decided to get a divorce, it's time to prepare yourself for the transition. First remove from you mind set that all men are dogs. You've been with this one man for 18 years, don't let his actions determine your view of all men. Don't let one man allow you to miss out on a good man. Now is the time to examine yourself, get in touch with all the past hurts, deal with them, come to a conclusion that you do have self worth, your husband just didn't appreciate it. DON'T start a new relationship right away until you can forgive your husband and yourself for the things you allowed yourself to deal with. DO see yourself for who you are, love yourself again because I know from experience that dealing with a cheater just makes you feel that something was wrong with me. DON"T keep company with negative people who try to tell you what to do and how to get back at your husband, it's not worth and it will only hurt you. Prepare yourself in dealing with your husband through the divorce process, it can be stressful especially if alot of property is involved. Look at the divorce as a new beginning, find new interests and keep yourself busy. Finally, keep in mind that you got tired and fed up that's why you are divorcing, but don't be surprised if your husband starts doing things he never did before to get you back. Does he want you back because he can't afford to lose some things or is he truly sorry? Don't let the Devil get any glory through this process, seek God every step of the way, his arms has many depths of comfort just open yourself up to him. One day you may realize that this divorce was a blessing in disguise. Lynette

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