I Can't Make You Love Me

If you happen to be single, divorced or separated, have you ever asked yourself this question, Where are all the good men or women and why did I get involved with Mister or Misses Wrong? Why do some men or women only love the type of people that miss treated them or cheat on them? Why are good men or good women always the ones who get mistreated, used, abused and in the end left alone? Or if you were bless or lucky enough to have the man or woman of your dreams, then why in the hell did you let them go? As you may know these days it very hard to find a good man or woman and true love is very hard to find. That is why there are so many Internet website promoting or guaranteeing that if you use them you will find true love. Why do men or women use the Internet to find love? Because deep inside of each of us is that desire to belong to someone or have someone too love for a lifetime. The truth is that finding someone that's compatible or finding someone to love you for you isn't easy. I have asked myself these questions many times, How many bad or rotten apples do I have to go through before I find a good one or how many internet profiles must I go through in order to find the right one?

 This reminds me of something my late grandmother would always say, Sometimes you have to go through the bad, before God blesses you with someone good. After all you can't make someone love you and it doesn't matter how much money you have or how successful you may become, true love is very hard to find. For those who may think because they are a good man or woman, have good looks, have a great job, a good education or  feel that they are God's gift to men or women. News flash! Even you can be cheated on, can be used or abused and money can't buy you love. Even if you are currently dating someone right now or married, it doesn't guarantee that they will love you, not cheat on you or that they will be with you for a lifetime. Why? Because even though some men or women happen to have good man or woman in their lives, most of them are never satisfied. Most people these days, are always looking for something better or the next big thing. That is why there are so many men or women cheating on their spouses, because they are unsatisfied with their mates. What they fail to realize is that what they are searching for is already within their mist. Why would I say this? Because the person they are with, already loves them for who they are, they know their spouses habits, their faults and despite it all they still  put up with them. I used to be one of those people who believe that if you were good to someone, treated them with respect and showed that you really love them, that they would love you back. Boy, was I wrong!You can treat someone like a King or Queen, give them your heart, everything you have including your world and they still won't be happy or love you. As you know ,you can't make someone love you or want you, can you?After all, I Can't Make You Love Me. Write in, then express your thoughts or opinions on the subject.
Chuck




Comments

That's the very reason why I'm waiting on my blessing to be HEAVENLY sent to me. After all"A MAN THAT FINDS A GOOD WIFE,FINDS A GOOD THING" JUST WAITING.MUCH RESPECT TO YOU
Charles Holmes said…
Hello Ms Prince,
Thank you for your response. Sometime ago I would have reacted just as you would. I would have said, I would need to wait on God when it comes to choosing my spouse or mate. But after the years past by, I learned that if one isn't aggressive or if one doesn't seek or go after their dreams then it very possible that what I want to happen won't come to past. What I mean by this is, when we want a certain type of job, car or house we go after it. We don't just dream about it, we work hard until we get it. Why can't we do the same when seeking a spouse or mate? To me it sounds real funny when men or women want God to just give them a good man or woman. No one wants to work hard to get one or keep one. They instead want a good man or woman to come to them and be just right for them. Life doesn't work that way and in this world, I have found only those who work hard, sacrifice and do what it takes to get what they want, are the ones that are truly successful. My advice is simple, If you want a good man or a good woman, then go after it, just as you would a house or a car. After all no one wants to have a fancy home or a nice car without someone special to share it with.

Chuck
Anonymous said…
Well, I wouldn't want to "go after" a person like I would go after a material possession because material posessions don't give you that companionship or affection that a human can. lol But on a serious note, I always struggle with the "right way" to find or meet a mate. The bible is not clear on courtship. There are men who stand on the scripture Prov. 18:22 "he who finds a wife finds a good thing", therefore
I will patienty wait on him to find me. I'm sure it's hard for a man to choose that "good thing" but I'm sure with the direction of the Lord they will make the right decision. I refuse to be "agressive" or go after a man and jeopardize my reputation to be called a "fast" or "loose" woman. I refuse to "date" numerous men to find the "one". I'll leave the sorting for the Lord. I'll watch from a distant and look for godly character and then the Lord will show me my mate. I know too many women that are so inpatient that they hook up with the "wrong man" because they want somebody in their life and willing to put up with anything. I noticed that many people are not living a fulfilled life because they are waiting on that special someone to fulfill them, those are the ones that end up with a person that makes their life miserable than they had before. So we must examine ourselves to see if we are husband or wife material. Has all the baggage from the past been disposed of? Have you forgiven that person that hurt you so the next person that comes in your life doesn't have to pay for it. Chuck I pray you find that special person your looking for, but I will partner with Prince and wait on mines to be heavenly sent. Be blessed Lynette
Charles Holmes said…
Hello Lynette,
I really appreciate your response, after all God and Love are my two favorite subjects. They are both intertwined and you can't have one without the other. Which leads me to your comment. Many of us don't have someone to love or someone to call their own because they also refuse to do certain things. To me its a shame that both men or women put more value on material possessions than they do with love. I know that most men or women would love for God to just send them the perfect man or woman without them lifting a finger. But if you look at the facts it just doesn't happen that way. First of all, when people are in relationships or marriages it takes two. Yes, the Bible clearly states that, when a man finds a wife he finds a good thing, but the woman also has to be proven worthy of being a wife. Which means to me that she has to do her part in order to make the marriage work. These days both men and women have become very lazy when it comes to love. No one wants to make the effort to find their soul-mate or their spouses for life. All you hear these days is I hope he or she finds me so that I can be happy. All I can say to that is Wow! And why wait or how long will you wait? Until you are to old to love or by some miracle you get lucky and find true love. Well I don't believe in luck and I am too old to wait! Most men Lynette wouldn't think that you are desperate if you showed them that you were interested in them. In fact it in my opinion would show the that you are simply interested in getting to know them. My question to you and other women Lynette is, How can a man know that you are single and interested if you don't say anything? Men are not mind readers and we think just like some of you women think when we see someone we are attracted to. That you are either married, have someone already or not very interested. I hope after reading my comment that you are getting the picture. If men or women are scared to go after each other, how can they in fact come together as one and be the couple that they both dreamed of?

Chuck
Anonymous said…
Chuck, I understand what your saying but to be clear, a man will know if I'm single or married by just asking me and if he is interested the conversation will continue. At that time we can come to a concensus that we want to get to know each other better, exchange numbers and go from there. If a commitment forms then he will come to realize that I am worthy to be a wife. Personally, I have asked a few men if they like an agressive woman and I was told no, they rather do the chasing. So each person will have there own way of making contact with a person they are interested in. Maybe there are men who have chased so many women that they are tired and want the woman to be the agressor. So each peron is different, I don't think one way is for everyone but you know what's best for you, so that's a good thing. I have realized lately that work and church is not gonna get me noticed by that God sent man, it's time to get out the house again. lol Lynette
Charles Holmes said…
Sometimes Lynette, when you ask a man a question, you have to make sure that he is answering it honestly. Also when I talk about aggression, I am not talking about being all over him or even chasing him. I am simply implying that you could show or say that you are interested. In a perfect world men would just walk up to a woman and ask her is she is single or interested. But these days a man has to be careful. Why? Because some women are in deed married and their spouses are crazy! You can get hurt these days, just by saying hello to a stranger and also people are too busy to pursue a spouse, that is why internet dating or social websites is so big or popular. Men want the same things women do, a good spouse, who's loyal, kind, understanding, faithful and drama free. Even though there are a lot of single men or women, you can't make them want or love you.

Chuck
Deedy said…
Hello Readers, its always a pleasure hearing your thoughts. I agree with my writing partner you cannot make someone love you, who don't want to be loved or know what true love is. One thing for sure you have to be very careful whom you open yourself up to. Lynette, most men are not truly honest with sharing his thoughts, because they will say one thing and do the opposite. A real man will express himself from the beginning what he wants, a serious relationship or just a friendship. Please beleive these men are just as afraid as women when it comes to seeking a significant other. Just like women have past hurts and failed relationships, men have experienced the same thing. Lynette, let me ask you this question, if you find someone that you may have an interest in, are you afraid of the rejection, because that person may not fill the same as you? If you already know that you are worthy to be a wife, you can best believe a man will notice your characteristics. Let me share this with you, I'm in love with this man, and he is in love with me. We have expressed ourselves to each other about what we want and what we are looking for in our soulmate. The time has come that we both don't want to be alone anymore, and we are getting ready to start as I speak too take the next step toward becoming one. Now, if I would not have told this man how I truly felt about him, I would not have known how he truly felt about me. I know that I am wife material, and I know he is perfect husband material, we share the same beliefs in a relationship, we both love God, and serve God with all our hearts. We have built this bond, that I know will enrich many couples to learn and know, what true love is about, its not just one sided but its too people together making a miracle of love into one lasting bond. Lynette Don't let the opportunity pass you bye, because you will neve get the opportunity again.
Anonymous said…
AND YOU ARE RIGHT U CAN'T MAKE SOMEONE LOVE YOU. I DID NOT TRY TO MAKE THIS MAN FALL IN LOVE WITH ME BUT I DID WANT A TRUE,AND HONEST RELATIONSHIP WITH HIM FIRST I MEAN AM NOT GOING TO LIE I WAS THE ONE FIRST TO FALL FOR HIM I REALLY TRIED EVERYTHING I COULD JUST TO GET HIM TO TALK MORE TO ME GET TOGETHER WITH HIM I MEAN I THINK I WENT BEYOUND FAR,AND FOR MOST JUST TO GET THOUGH TO HIM I DON'T NO WELL I JUST GAVE UP THINGS JUST WAS NOT GOING RIGHT I FELT LIKE I WAS RUNNING AFTER HIM,SWEATING HIM AND ALL I'VE EVERY GOTTEN FROM HIM WAS REJECTION SO THAT JUST LET ME NO THAT HE WAS NOT INTEREST IN ME AT ALL WHAT I WANT I GET I AM VERY AGGRESSIVE IN THE THINGS THAT I WANT OUT OF LIFE AND I MUST SAY I NORMAL WILL GET I AM A VERY GOOD CATCH I QUESS I WASN'T GOOD ENOUGH FOR HIM AND HE JUST DID NOT WANT TO TAKE THAT CHANCE WITH REAL,AND TRUE LOVE. LOOKING FOR LOVE !!!! HAVE A BLESS,AND WONDERFUL EVENING AM DONE !!!!! I CANT MAKE YOU LOVE ME CAUSE YOU DON'T

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