The Closer I Get
If you tried dating or finding someone new, then you should have notice that its harder finding someone good or someone that meets your standards. Even though they now have this thing called the internet, dating in today's time has become more difficult. Even though technology was suppose to make things easier it has in fact made people less social in person. For those who might question my last sentence I offer this as proof. When you look at the world today, while shopping, dining out, at night clubs or even at the movies, most people eyes are glued to their cell phones or I-pads. Even at some dinner tables, most of the family members eyes or their attention is on their cell phones. Question is, How does one meet someone special or have any type of social interaction if their main focus is directed, toward their smart devices? Which brings me to the topic of the week, The Closer I Get. This letter comes from a reader of mine who happens to live in the great state of Michigan. This young lady has had trouble finding a man that meets her standards. Why? Well because in her own words most of the men in her State are after just one thing sex or in her own words gay. As she would put it, they are uneducated, criminals or mommas boys. But that's not her problem. Her problem is that she happens to know a guy that she is interested in, that happens to be her friend of 10 years. They grew up together, attended the same college and are best friends. So much so that he tries to hook her up with some of his friends and even gives her advice when she is in a relationship. What's the problem you may ask? Well he is her friend and she doesn't want to ruin their friendship.Read her letter just as I have and you be the judge.
How are you? I really missed your writings, so what's up and what happen? Anyway, the reason I am writing is because I happen to have a problem and maybe you can help. I am having a hard time finding a man and the ones I see on a regular basis are just not my type. Most of them are uneducated or they have this thug mentality that I hate. I been so depressed lately because I can't imagine living my life alone or without someone to call my own. I tried the dating sites (Not working) and I have also tried to find a man of my own, with little success. I been praying hoping that God would one day send me the man of my dreams. I think I am a great catch, college educated, good looking,in great shape and own my own home, with a great paying job. All the men I bump into are after sex and some even have the nerve to want me to take care of them. That I won't do and I refuse to settle! I want a good man or one that was made for me. Now I know you can't help me find a man Chuck, but I would love it if you can help me with my problem.
I have a good friend, let me stop lying my best friend that I happen to be attracted to. We went to school together at Michigan States and been friends almost since childhood. I really didn't start noticing him in a romantic way until recently. One day he was at my apartment helping me paint my walls and he slipped off the ladder, then fell on top of me. At first it was kind of awkward, because he was embarrassed by the way he fell on me. He looked into my eyes and I did the same, then we almost kissed. After that I started to notice that he was everything I am looking for, great guy, college educated, good looking, smart, a very big lump in his pants, fine ass hell and has a great sense of humor. I am afraid to tell him how I feel, because I don't want to ruin our friendship, but at the same time I want him. Weird I know, but its getting increasingly harder to contain myself , because the closer I get or the more I see him, the more I want to feel him next to me. Whew! Inside me! Hell the man is now in my thoughts or dreams and I get wet every-time he is around! What's a girl to do? Get involved and ruin a great ten year friendship or go after what could be the man of my dreams? I know I sound like a crazy woman Chuck, but please help me! I am going nuts over here!!!
Your loyal reader,
How are you? After reading your letter, I can understand your dilemma. You have a great relationship with your friend, but also have secret feelings for someone who happens to be your best friend. That to me is very easy to answer and when I do provide my answer I know that most of my female readers won't agree with me. My answer is simple, don't ruin a friendship that may last a lifetime , for something that may last for mere moments. Real friendships last forever, but lust, a little desire or infatuations may only last for few days, maybe a couple of weeks and wasted moments that can ruin that friendship you both built that may last a lifetime.
Good luck too you,