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Damaged Goods





If you happen to be reading this let me ask you a very personal question, have you ever been hurt so bad or been through so much that you have a fear, of ever falling in love again? Sadly enough we all have had our heart's broken at least once or twice and the way the dating game is going these days, men or women alike have to deal with a whole lot of  deceit, lies or games that people play every single day. Its also sad to say but lots of men or women today are very selfish , they don't seem to care about any one's feelings, but themselves and most are only out or after what they can get. Yes, even though this game is as old as dirt or one that's been played since the beginning of time, there are still some men and yes even a few women that only want a man or woman for their body, material things or money. What's troubling about these facts is that most of them, will tell just about any lie or story just to get what they want. Then on top of that imagine being married to or in a relationship with someone who not only cheats or lies but also has a alcoholic, drug, criminal or gambling problem. Going through these situations is enough to make any man or woman feel or think, that there aren't any good ones left and being that their family members or friends are experiencing the same thing or been in the same situations it makes it almost impossible to trust or to take anyone serious. I have heard many men or women make these statements, I was meant to be alone; I am not marriage material; I attract or date the wrong type of people; All men are dogs, women are gold diggers or they are only after my body, money or materiel things. The sad thing about these questions or thoughts is that most men or women are so damaged or messed up that there actions, either scare a good person away or they fail to see or recognize that there are still good quality men or women available to date and marry.

After reading the paragraph above, be completely honest with yourself ( If you happen to be newly divorced or single going through one bad date after another) what I have described has made you a little afraid, very discouraged and reluctant to date again. The fact is that most people are damaged mentally beyond repair and  aren't even aware of it, while others often take their bad experiences, feelings, thoughts or memories with them into their next relationship or marriage. I can say this at least some of those people, do manage to get a date or into a new relationship, the problem is shortly after they began those same old habits that kept them from finding or scaring others away has crept right back into their lives again. And that is when that same old vicious cycle starts all over again. Why you may ask? Because while they are with their new love or when they are trying to get to know them, they often bring up their past, then their ex-boy or girlfriends, husbands or wives, then compare the new person actions, thoughts or ways to their horrible past. If you are reading this and your thoughts are that I don't want this to happen to me or that I don't want to be that person. Then the first thing you must do for yourself , is to admit before you start dating is that you are Damaged Goods and soon after that is when the healing really begins. The reason why its so important to take time for yourself and to realize that you have a problem, is because its the only way you will be able to live your life freely again. After you took that time to yourself, then forgave yourself and your ex very soon after that you should be able or ready to move on then start dating. If by chance those negative feelings or thoughts start to creep back into your mind while dating or in a relationship, take a deep breath, step back and realize that the person you are now seeing, interested or with in is not your past, but someone new. Give them a chance and never judge a situation before it happens. My advice is simple, smile, then relax because you are in a good place and it's okay to be liked, loved, desired or wanted by someone new. Once you have realized this then you are no longer Damaged Goods but someone ready to be loved and able to trust again. Write in then express your thoughts or feelings on the subject.
Have a great holiday,
Chuck

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